Monday, October 31, 2016

Butler, Butler, Butler

Continuing the theme of nearly-inappropriate language, Benjamin was just singing a Halloween song for Zoë while we were eating lunch. We made some skeletons to tape to our front door before lunch and were singing "Dem Bones," but the lyrics and tune for this particular song were all original to Benjamin:

"Butler, butler, butler, butler, have you any bonesies?"

Technically he's not allowed to say the word butler. All that means, however, is that he says it all the more. I really should stop banning things from this kid...

He overheard the word during a conversation somewhere about something—involving butlers, obviously—and thought it was hilarious because it has the word "butt" in it, which is also technically a word we avoid saying (because kids can just get so rude). Anyway, "butler" has quickly replaced the word "butt" in Benjamin's lexicon.

And he uses it so rudely.

At ukulele practice last week he was playing in the basement with his friend Rosie (not his cousin Rosie) and she came upstairs to tattle on him. "Benjamin keeps saying butler," she told her mom.

Butler isn't even a bad word...but, oh, he makes it sound like a bad word.

"Butler! Butler! Butler!" he'll spew the syllables out like poison. "You're a butler!"

When I told him that if he can't start using that word nicely and appropriately he'd start getting in trouble for saying it, he did his best to make it more polite by changing it to...bumler.

"Bumler! Bumler! Bumler! Zoë, you're a bumler!" he started chanting.

Everyone knows that "bum" isn't nearly as rude of a word as "butt," so this was a big improvement. In his opinion. I wasn't quite satisfied and told him so, evoking further evolution of the word.

"Potty-ler! Potty-ler! Potty-ler! Is that better, Mom?"

"Yeah, not really," I said. "You're still trying to be rude and you're still using potty words and I just don't like it. You need to be nice."

"Can I just say -ler?" he asked innocently.

The boy knows how to negotiate, that's for sure.

Oh, and how to drive his mother slightly batty. He knows how to do that, too.

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