tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624978.post3955825168309615940..comments2024-03-25T17:48:53.875-04:00Comments on Heissatopia: I'm Nobody. Who are you? Are you—Nobody—too?Andrewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14785629874138416100noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624978.post-48467781903237430642015-09-21T02:57:43.668-04:002015-09-21T02:57:43.668-04:00This can be such a difficult thing. After having G...This can be such a difficult thing. After having Gareth I felt a lot of resentment that Ryan's life had changed so minimally while mine was destroyed. I said to him, "When do I get *my* life back?!" I took years to figure out what I wanted to do. I had to let go of a dream that I'd had for so long, which was difficult. And overcome some inertia and self-doubt. Starting back to school was terrifying and then Mal cried at his sitter's through every single class for an entire quarter and I wondered if I'd jumped back in too soon, was it not good for him? And I feel so lucky that I get a second chance to choose something, but also terrified that, despite loving classes so far, maybe I'm choosing wrong. And having invested so much time and money into it, I feel a lot of pressure to get it right and so picking something to stick with is terrifying. And every once in a while I'm slightly bitter at the privilege that Ryan takes for granted - that his career was put first, that he got to focus solely on school and not housework and kids and school all at once. But it's been worth it. It's amazing to have time without kids, to have an identity that doesn't include them. And I'm so excited that the kids get to see me as more than "just" mom as well. I'm glad I didn't wait until they were grown, but it was worth it to take a few years to come to terms with changing directions and figure out what I think I want to do with my life.Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10636146366627166656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624978.post-21470858905614768772015-09-20T10:49:35.684-04:002015-09-20T10:49:35.684-04:00Your practice will put you in good stead when you ...Your practice will put you in good stead when you are ready to take an idea and run with it! And I hope that baby Z decides to settle down a bit so you can feel less addled!Myrnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06450610418971329885noreply@blogger.com