First day and last day at home with Rachel

A little over 18 years ago we brought our brand new baby girl home from the hospital. We placed her in her bassinet and...

...freaked out. It was terrifying. 

We couldn't believe they would just let us walk out of the hospital with this entirely helpless human. But apparently that's a thing they let people do. Wild.

None of us had any idea what we were doing: Rachel was trying to figure out how to human. We were trying to figure how to human while also teaching small human how to human. 

It was a monumental undertaking.

But eventually we figured out some stuff. 

We're still figuring out...other stuff. It seems like there is a never-ending number of things to figure out.



 A lot of it has been hard, but so, so much of it—more of it—has been joyful. 

So, anyway, here's Rachel sitting in her bed on her last night in our house (last night):

She refused to let me swaddle her for a picture (spoil sport). 

She's going to do awesome at college.

It's hard to believe that we're expected to just send this wonderfully talented and capable human out into the world. 

It's terrifying. 

But, you know what? She's going to figure stuff out. 

And we're going to figure...other stuff...out. 

I imagine some parts will be hard (phew—this evening was difficult) and some parts will be joyful (we'll get to that stuff). 

I'm just hoping that this kind of day—the day when those barely-adult children spread their wings—will get easier with subsequent kids. Because, I'll tell ya, by the time I brought my sixth baby home from the hospital I was like, "Meh. It's a baby. Who's afraid of a tiny baby?"

I mean, I loved all my babies. That's not what the "meh" is for. 

The "meh" is just for, like, every* time I brought a baby home from the hospital it was less scary.

*But 'cept for Benjamin.

So surely sending them into the world gets easier. Like, I mean, if this whole experiment with Rachel works out (sorry first pancake kid) we can assume the other ones'll be fine as well...right? 

(Don't tell me if the answer is no, okay? Just give me this one and let me figure it out later.)