Putting up the "Cur-smiss-mas" tree

I might be a little sad that I'm leaving for a conference tomorrow when there are so many Christmas things to be done! But at least I'm not leaving for Ethiopia to help manage a pandemic like my friend (who did negotiate to be home in time for Christmas, but who could do little but wish her husband good luck with all the Christmas prep). I'll be home on the 10th. 

Still! There's much to be done and...I feel like I'm missing a big chunk of it. 

And there simply aren't hours enough in the day! Sunday was a bustling day, with church, followed by a few church friends coming over, followed by a baptism (conducted in Chinese), followed by choir practice...it went on and on and on.

Today I had a meeting in the morning and then we did some school work in the afternoon (the kids also did school work in the morning, but I didn't oversee that bit). Then Benjamin had swimming (and Miriam came to practice the organ at the church) and by the time we came home for FHE it had been dark for several hours and solar-powered Phoebe was beginning to feel sleepy...

But she still wanted to make a start on the advent calendars and we had promised to decorate the tree for FHE. Andrew even hauled up the tree all by himself—we got smart about it a few years ago so he was able to bring the whole thing up by himself. The first few years we had this thing he and I would lug the entire thing out of the basement all at once, box and all. It was unwieldy and heavy and horrible. 

Then in 2021, Phoebe was born just a few weeks before we were set to put up the tree. I was not cleared for carrying heavy items—nothing heavier than my teensy little "gaunt" baby (that's what we called her, Rachel! Gaunt Baby! We were talking about this a few weeks ago—how Rachel had such glorious chubby baby cheeks and Phoebe simply did not. She was such a skinny little thing, not even 6 lbs when we brought her home from the hospital, but we couldn't remember what we called her because no adjectives were right—not skinny, not emaciated...gaunt...but don't worry! She got fatter as time wore on!). Anyway, I wasn't supposed to lift anything heavy, so hauling a ginormous Christmas tree up the stairs was out of the question.

It was then that we put our incredible heads together and realized we didn't have to haul the whole thing up at once. We could just leave the box in the basement and bring up the parts of the tree separately. 

In fact, I believe Andrew brought the tree up by himself that particular year. And he brought the tree up by himself—piece by piece—again today while I was out with Miriam and Benjamin.

So we did the advent calendars. And then we let the kids put one tin of ornaments up on the tree before we did our first Christmas devotional and put Phoebe to bed. 

We will do more decorating tomorrow before my flight...I guess...

Here are the kids looking at the ornaments:

Zoë made this drippy-crayon ornament at activity days a while back (last year? the year before last?):

And she was excited to find this TARDIS that Rachel made (because Zoë has been working her way through Doctor Who):

Miriam was showing us how high she could reach:

Zoë said she could reach higher (and did...by standing on a chair):

Then the boys were determined to reach as high as they could as well. Here's Alexander standing on "The Grandma Chair," as it's known in our house:

And here's Ben:

And here are "all" the kids:

Including Phoebe:

But not including Rachel.

It feels verboten to decorate like this without Rachel. My gut instinct was to just wait until she was here. Because she should be here, right? She should be pulling out ornaments and gasping about memories and vying for a turn on the advent calendar.

But she's not here. 

Rachel went to Idaho for Thanksgiving, to spend the holiday with her roommate's extended family. She said she felt a little...suspicious...the whole time. Like she wasn't allowed to go on a roadtrip without her family, like she didn't have permission to go to another state (to go off to college, sure, but to leave the state?!). But she doesn't precisely need permission to do that kind of thing anymore because...she's an adult. 

And we don't have to wait for her to start our holiday fun times. 

Because she bought a little Christmas tree on Black Friday and set it up in her apartment. She's living her life and we're living ours. 

It just feels odd. 

Like when she went off to kindergarten and I honestly found it difficult to leave the house to do anything without her. Like going to the park or the museum without her was somehow...cheating...on her. Which is ridiculous...but that's how it felt.

And that's a little bit how I feel now.

I eventually got over it then, and I'm sure I'll get over it now. 

I guess the feeling is really just that we miss her. 

But I get to go to her choir concert next Tuesday! And then she'll soon follow me "home" for the holidays and we'll be so excited to have her join in the rest of our festivities.

Anyway...here's sweet little Phoebe carefully placing an ornament on the tree:

She was so excited to start decorating for "Cur-smiss-mas!"