Heiss Holiday Humbug 2015

For once I have very little to say in my preamble, so we'll get straight to the good stuff: our Christmas letter is finally here!

You can download a PDF of the newsletter here or catch the text-only version below the jump.

Zoë vs. Cheerios

Zoë's really not great at eating Cheerios yet. She first tried them when we were in Utah and I was like, "Perfect! She can experiment with them now and be a pro by the time we fly home. That should keep her happy on the plane!" But, alas, we've yet to reach that "pro" zone. She gagged and choked and coughed at that first Cheerio and now, weeks later she still gags and chokes on her Cheerios.

On the plus side, though, she finds them wildly entertaining.

A big catch up

I feel like the blog has been so neglected! I got sick (again) and have been very busy trying to get better while also tending to Benjamin and Zoë, who have also been sick. I don't know what happened. I was fine on Sunday. I even taught Rachel's primary class because her teacher was out sick.

We had a lovely lesson on The Golden Rule. I invented a character to use in hypothetical situations. His name is Oliben. He's a somewhat annoying three-year-old brother.

There are only two children in Rachel's class, you see? Our ward has a phenomenally large junior primary but, due to the peripatetic nature multitude of the student families that provide the majority of the children in the ward, the senior primary numbers dwindle. It's kind of an amazing process to watch. Rachel had a handful of wonderful girls in her class when we moved here. Now there are two; it's just Rachel and Callin. Miriam went into Sunbeams with fifteen other three-year-olds. Now there are only ten kids her age. I'm sure in a couple of years there will only be a handful. And then...who knows because we'll likely be one of the families leaving.

Anyway, it's just Rachel and Callin.

Callin's mom and I have synchronized childbirth schedules.

Callin was born in June of 2007. Rachel was born in July.

Miriam was born in October of 2009. Rhett was born in December.

Oliver was born in February (or was it March?) of 2012. Benjamin was born in June.

Elliot was born in January of 2015. Zoë was born in May.

It's almost eerie, really, but there you have it. Rachel and Callin have a lot in common. Not only do the have the exact same number of siblings all pretty much the exact same age, they also like building with LEGO and keeping their precious creations safe from the prying hands of their slightly obnoxious little brothers.

To simplify (and also to "anonymize) scenarios, I created Oliben. I seemed the best name.

Benjiver. Olimin. Benjoli.

Oliben worked. And Rachel and Callin thought it was hilarious.

Ukulele, Room Rearranging, & Trading Tables

This end of our week was rather eventful, starting on Thursday and continuing through the weekend. I spent the morning practicing the ukulele for the Relief Society Christmas party. We didn't volunteer to play this time since we'd already volunteered to play at the ward Christmas party (and how much ukulele can one audience take, really?) but then we were asked to play so we said we would.

Unfortunately, since we didn't volunteer early all the songs that we'd been practicing had already been nabbed by other performers. Not even kidding. That's what we get for being recruited three days before the party.

This wasn't a huge problem for a seasoned ukuleleist, such as myself (*blows on fingertips, rubs on shirt*), but it was kind of a shock for the freshly minted ukuleleists in the group. I did my best to find songs that they'd be comfortable playing—because, let's face it, I'm not exactly an expert either—scrutinizing chords and simplifying arrangements I'd found online. We were all pretty stressed about getting things to a playable level for us all (because practicing at home is one thing and playing in front of an audience is another) and in the end we did alright.

We played Away in a Manger (tune by James Murray, which we hadn't played before), Christmas Bells (in the key of F, ignoring that surly B-flat), and Holly Jolly Christmas (we all played the verses; not everyone played the bridge (it was a little tricky)). Rachel and Miriam played handbells during Christmas Bells but other than that we let the children off the hook for this performance. I was having to give pep talks to the adults; had we involved the children I think they would have had a mutiny.

In the end things went smoothly enough and we've rededicated ourselves to preparing for next weekend when we'll perform—with the children—at the ward party as well as a couple of nursing homes.

Oh, we had a waffle bar at the party with regular (option to mix in crushed candy cane), pumpkin, and gingerbread waffles. The gingerbread waffles were kind of to die for so that might have to be a thing at our house.

On Friday I found a loft bed for Rachel so Andrew took the van to campus to take care of some things and then went to pick up the bed while Benjamin and I made a spot for it. We moved his little toddler bed out of the room (and washed the wall by his bed because yikes), then we shifted the furniture along the walls to make room for the loft bed since there was only one wall in the room that it would fit against. We washed walls as we went because, at that point, why not?

Andrew came home shortly before I had to leave to pick the girls up from school so we could go to ukulele practice. While we were gone Andrew put the bed together.

We had three very excited children when we explained their new sleeping arrangements: Benjamin on the bottom bunk, Miriam on the top bunk, Rachel on the loft bed, Zoë eventually in her crib.

Her crib has been far too dangerous of a place while room sharing with Benjamin.

The shortest prayer

Benjamin said family prayer a little too soon after waking up this morning. This is what he said:

Dear Heavenly Father,

*burp*

(long pause)

Sanky for day. Sanky...

*yawn*

(long pause)

Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Everyone else was holding down giggles but Benjamin seemed to take things rather seriously. 

Keep it secret; keep it safe

Every time I turn my back Benjamin does something crazy with his baby sister. Let's be honest: crazy things happen often enough right in front of my face, but he tends to get a little crazier when I'm not right there watching him. I try to be there for every waking moment of his life because he's a little bit of a terror (Grandpa jokingly calls him a terrorist; you should see him with the baby (he's ridiculous)).

For example, the other day I heard a *glug, glug, glug* and started freaking out.

"What's that sound?" I said, running around the house. "Where's it coming from? Why do I hear water pouring out of something?"

"I don't know," Benjamin said sweetly.

Then I smelled...it.

"What's that smell?" I panicked. "Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! You didn't!!!"

He did. He opened the spigot on our bokashi bin and ferment kitchen scrap juice was pouring out onto our kitchen floor. The smell was potently putrid. His punishment was sitting by me while I cleaned it up.

"Keep sniffing, young man!"

I didn't want him cleaning it up because this was a mess I wanted cleaned up (a) as quickly as possible and (b) without being made worse before being made better. Believe me, sniffing was enough punishment.

"It smells so yucky, Mom! Let me go away!"

"You leave and you'll be in even more trouble! Keep sniffing."

Spritzgebäck are back!

My mom had a cookie press that I absolutely loved to use to make spritz cookies. I don't know why I thought of it this year but I realized that I hadn't made—or had—spritz cookies for an entire decade! I know this because I don't have a cookie press and we're coming up on our tenth anniversary. So, I researched cookie presses a bit and sent a link to Andrew, for a gift-buying reference.

My mom's original cookie press looked like this:

Last moments in Utah (November 23)

I realized, just before leaving for the airport, that we were in a house populated entirely by fourth children. My dad was holding Zoë and said something about how she was Mommy's pride and joy, even if it was "the fourth time over."

"Fourth children are the best," I said snootily. "Isn't that right, Dad?"

"Hey!" my mom said, poking her head out of the bedroom. "That's true. Fourth children are the best! I'm the fourth child."

"And I'm the fourth child," said my dad.

"And I'm the fourth child and Zoë's the fourth child!" I said.

So we took a picture:

Fourth children for the win!

I suppose people in other positions in their families are pretty great as well (I guess) but it was pretty funny to suddenly realize that everyone in the house was a fourth child.

And, that was Utah. I'm finally caught up...I think...

So many babies! (November 22)

I went to my parents' ward on Sunday and got to go to primary with my mom. She's teaching the children "Could I Hold the Baby?" and used Zoë as a clue to introduce the song. It was fun to be back in primary again!

Here's my mom with Zoë on Sunday morning before we'd gotten ready for church. My parents have church at 1:00 so we had plenty of time for a lazy Sunday morning (we are so looking forward to 11:00 church next year):

Utah (more of November 21)

Karen was kind enough to attend both the funeral and viewing so that she could drive me and babysit Zoë a bit, but she went home before the graveside service so my mom drove me back to the Heiss's to collect my stuff. I was pleasantly surprised when Diana walked in on me giving Zoë a diaper change!

Look, Diana! You made the blog!