She was a stinker on Monday night and had a rough time falling asleep and staying asleep. And then she insisted that Andrew stay in her hall while she worked to fall asleep at 2:00 in the morning, even though he had a plane to catch on Tuesday morning. I tried to convince him to just let her suffer through me sitting in the hallway, but he felt bad doing that because...well...it makes her angry to have me in the hallway.
"Mommy and I are just going to say our prayers and then one of us will come back to sit in the hallway for a little while," he reassured her.
"One of you...but not Mommy..." she said.
"Well," he hedged. "I have an early flight in the morning so..."
"Please not Mommy!" she begged. "It makes me angry to have Mommy in the hallway! I just want you!"
So he caved and sat in the hallway while she fell asleep.
Then he woke up early and left for the airport.
Then I got up and got ready to head to campus, and then Rachel and I left...leaving behind a house full of sleeping children (only Miriam was awake). They're not doing schoolwork this week so I just let them...lie. But when we got to campus I asked Miriam how Phoebe was doing and she was still sleeping. It had been a rough night. She had gotten up again at 5:00 and then...anyway...I could understand why Phoebe was still sleeping but advised Miriam to wake Phoebe up (at 11:15!!) so that Phoebe would still have a chance of going to bed that evening.
Tuesday is my long day on campus, so Miriam had already put her to bed by the time I got home (though I did get to briefly see the other kids).
Phoebe climbed into bed with me around 2:00 am, and I let her because...I missed her.
In the morning she just wanted to snuggle, and whispered to me, "I wish we were on a helicopter right now."
(This morning she woke me up by snuggling into me while singing, "Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you're part of a team!" She's always got thoughts running in her mind, it seems.)
I asked her why it makes her angry to have me in the hallway when she falls asleep and her answer was that it's because she wants me to be closer so she can touch me (she has had this thing with stroking my neck since she was a baby-baby). So it's just better for me to be out of sight, out of mind, I guess, than to be close enough to look at but not close enough to touch.
I'm glad that is what makes her angry about having me in the hallway because she had me worried for a hot second there!
Daddy's one of her favourite people, to be sure, and it's been lovely to have a baby that prefers him to me sometimes...and I could totally understand wanting him around and listing him among my favourite people...so I wasn't quite jealous that she has been wanting him to be in the hall instead of me.
I was just sad that she said it made her angry to have me. That seemed like a lot. Like...what did I do?!
Nothing apparently, except be too desirable...
That's sweet <3
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