There is no escaping!

Zoë had a well-child check this morning. She's growing just fine, had her tetanus shot today. No real concerns.

While we were waiting for the nurse to come in for vaccinations (see: tetanus, also flu, with COVID to come in the next little while) we were trying to figure out all the animals and actions on the poster. The manatee playing the mandolin was a tricky one for Zoë—and what obscure things to choose. Urchin for U was interesting, but the poor urchin was doing little other than being under water. 

N was just offensive though...it was of a newt clearly taking a nap. 

And we all know how I feel about napping newts.

I took a picture to send to my family group chat because...come on! A napping newt?! 

"Can't escape it, can you?" Patrick texted.

"You can see the ice skating iguana!" I protested. "And the newt is just napping. Have we no n verbs?"

It doesn't be a verb! The newt could be wearing a dazzling necklace! Eating nachos! Anything!

"But Nancy Newt NEEDS naps," my mom pointed out. "So obviously the correct choice..."

"Nancy newt navigated nearly nigh nakedwoods namely for nachos," Patrick suggested. "Had to use the dictionary page for N. Your letter is not that easy, wanted to do it all without a single other starting letter. Josie's might be more difficult."

"Forsooth!" I said. "That jellyfish isn't even juggling!"

That jellyfish is just...jolly. Don't even ask me what the owl is doing. The dog, it appears, is dozing, so it's not like the newt is the only sleepy animal on the poster. 

"The dog might be dying," Rosie chimed in. "If Ireland saw the poster."

Ireland is going through a morbid stage. They had a little bird on their front step that was just hanging out for a few days. And then it died. And Ireland just can't get enough talk about death. 

"What is the chameleon doing?" Patrick asked. "Changing? Seems a little risqué for a children's office..."

"I think it might be...being curious?" I said. 

It doesn't seem to be doing anything, which is so unfair. 

"Look at this penguin!" I said. "It's a regular Picasso! There’s a lot of unfairness in this poster, regarding animal interests."

The penguin is a talented painter—going through a "blue period," as Patrick pointed out, clarifying, "that's a cold joke!" The koala can play that kazoo (quite well, probably). But the owl is just (only?) like...doing an awkward (original?) dance. It couldn't be playing the oboe?

Patrick then suggested we all find and read The Gashlycrumb Tinnies by Edward Gorey (which you can read online, but only one person at a time, so if you share it with the family chat they will not be able to read it while you have it checked out). It's an alphabet book about 26 children who met an untimely demise—perfect for the morbid child in your life! 

He has a copy of it in a box in my mom's basement, but she didn't want to pull out his stuff to look for it.

We have a copy of Gorey's The Wuggly Ump, which my kids love to hate (Rachel very specifically). You can also read that online (one at a time).

Another books discussed was The Worst Alphabet Book Ever, which is a little more easy to find in a library and/or store, and is not available to view online. Auntie K sent us a copy a while back. It's not a morbid tale, but it's a funny book!

To be clear: no one is actually offended by this animal alphabet poster. True, tears were shed by kindergarten me over Nancy Newt needing naps. But these days napping is one of my favourite activities so I feel for my newt counterpart.

*****

And speaking of not being able to escape things: 6-7. 

It's the word of the year.

It is emblazoned on my house (thank you, Benjamin...let's keep the sidewalk chalk on the sidewalk in the future).

Miriam just ran upstairs to show me that "there are six, or seven, modal verbs in German."

She was like, "I just can't get away from it!!"

Kids these days are dropping 6-7 every other sentence, it feels like! And now it's popping up in college-level German textbooks! The horror!