More toilet paper stories

I recently finished off a roll of toilet paper and—as a responsible toilet paper user—I went to replace the roll. Alas, there was no more toilet paper under the sink, so I went to the kids' bathroom and took a roll from under their sink and made a mental note to grab a pack of toilet paper from the basement and bring it up to our bathroom the next time I went downstairs. 

I managed to make the trip a little later in the day. I distinctly remember going downstairs and grabbing a pack of toilet paper (making another mental note about how much toilet paper was left in the basement). I took the toilet paper with me on a few errands on my way upstairs and then...

Who really knows?

It's anyone's guess, really. 

You know when your brain is simply...overloaded...with concerns...and there's absolutely zero room for a stray thought in there? That's about the point where I am currently (so I should probably stop making mental notes—I'm not positive they're being stored anywhere at the moment). My mind is simply maxed out. And that's okay. 

But the toilet paper didn't ever end up under the bathroom sink, which is unfortunate because when it was time to replace the toilet paper roll again...there was still no toilet paper under the sink. 

Now, Cottenelle would have us believe that "an average family of four can finish a regular roll (of 150 sheets) in about a day. They’ll go through an estimated 7 rolls per week, or 28 rolls a month," but that sounds a little high to me so perhaps we're conservative toilet paper users. Still, it didn't feel like it had been that long since I'd last changed the toilet paper roll and I was somehow shocked to find that there was still no toilet paper under the sink.

Because I'd gone downstairs to get some, see?

I distinctly remembered doing this...and then carrying it around the house for a while...but if it wasn't under my bathroom sink and it wasn't under the kids' bathroom sink and it wasn't under the hallway bathroom sink...where, precisely, did I put it?! 

Obviously not in any logical spot. 

Huh. 

I went downstairs to get another pack of toilet paper and this time I was sure to put it under the bathroom sink right away. But while I was down there I looked for a stray pack of toilet paper—nothing. 

I looked all over the downstairs. Nothing. 

So strange. 

But at least I learned that the hallway bathroom needed toilet paper as well. So I got another pack for that bathroom and continued passively looking for the pack that I knew I had misplaced somewhere.

Or perhaps dreamed about misplacing somewhere. 

Had I really been down to get toilet paper that first time? It felt so real. 

But I've fetched toilet paper from the basement many times. It's possible I made the memory up and simply never went downstairs to get toilet paper in the first place. 

Who could say? Not me. 

Like I said, my mind is just about toast at the present.

And then I went into the laundry room for some reason today and noticed...a pack of toilet paper sitting on top of the dryer! 

So that's where I put it!

Why did I take it with me into the laundry room? I couldn't tell you. I'm just glad I found it. 

It's now...back in the basement waiting to be needed again.