Sunday, May 26, 2019

Ever the scientist

To celebrate the end of the school year we went out to dinner at Brick Oven. They give out "free kids' meals" coupons to lure us in, but, oh boy, did our meal end up costing a lot anyway! I suppose that's one reason we only ever go out once in a blue moon.

The other reason we hardly ever go out is because kids can be embarrassing!

Benjamin can read so learned our waitress's name pretty quick. Soon Zoë caught on as well. Then they were both loudly asking things like, "Where's HANNAH? When will HANNAH come back? HANNAH, where are you? Why is HANNAH hiding behind that stand? When is HANNAH going to bring us our food?!"

I suppose the upside of this is that Hannah certainly didn't neglect our table!

Once when she stopped by she asked if we were all doing fine, sipping our waters while waiting for our dinner, and those of us around the table who are somewhat versed in out-to-dinner etiquette smiled and nodded and said, "Yes, thank you."

Benjamin, however, bellowed, "I WANT MY PIZZA!"

"I will bring it as soon as it comes out of the oven," she assured him.

Like I said, she didn't have much opportunity to neglect our table.

The kids' meals came with a root beer, so Benjamin and Zoë had both a cup of root beer and a cup of water to drink while we were waiting. Zoë drank hers at the same time—with two straws in her mouth—and both she and Benjamin drained their cups before our food arrived. This led to a field trip to the washroom with Daddy (as well as a quick jaunt over to the brick oven).

Benjamin came back beaming about the brick oven.

Zoë came back feeling relieved.

Andrew came back red as a tomato.

Apparently Zoë had been loudly discussing anatomy and methods of...making violent the bathroom, which was rather full at the time. Andrew said he could hear snorts and chuckles from the stalls next door and just couldn't wait to get out of there.

While he was relating the bathroom tale to us, Zoë mentioned something about wondering if it was possible to drink out of one's nose. Benjamin heard her and said, "What?! You can drink through your nose!?"

He lunged for his cup—picking root beer (not water!!)—he stuffed the straw in his nose and inhaled sharply, dragging that cold, fizzy liquid right into his nasal cavity.

"AHHHH!" he cried, sputtering and gasping for air. "Zoë!!"

"What?" she asked innocently. It certainly wasn't her fault he'd jumped to experimentation without collecting any secondary research first. She hadn't intended him to be so rash (he's just kind of that way by nature).

I saw him insert the straw in his nose and started laughing so hard I could hardly breathe, which got Andrew's attention, so I kind of just waved in Benjamin's general direction. Andrew and Grandpa looked over and started laughing, too. No one made a move to intervene in his experiment—there wasn't really time to ( was hilarious).

Rachel and Miriam were perfectly well-behaved so perhaps we should wait for about a decade before we try taking the little kids out again...


Benjamin had a bad truth-telling day a few days ago. He simply could not keep from telling lies (about every silly thing) and it was getting under my skin. It was bothering Andrew as well, apparently, because after he was caught in yet another lie shortly before bedtime, Andrew decided to get some revenge.

We'd decided to work on memorizing a new scripture that evening—Ephesians 4:32, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you."

After repeating this a few times, Andrew said, "And now, Benjamin, will you read this scripture for us—2 Nephi 9:34."

"Wo unto the liar," Benjamin read with gusto before dropping his voice to a squeak. "For he shall be thrust down..."

He couldn't even finish the verse. He dove under his covers (we were doing family scripture study in his and Zoë's room that evening because it was so beyond bedtime) and started sobbing.

His older sisters (and mother and father, if we're being honest (which we should be because we know what happens to liars)) started laughing.

It's a good verse for instilling a little fear in recalcitrant little boys.