Tuesday, September 03, 2019

A very Benjamin FHE

On Sunday Benjamin came home from church with a little stop sign and a bunch of magnets and a burning desire to teach a family night lesson on temptation. So we let him.

He used magnets to stick all sorts of things to the white board: a paper with $3000 written on it, some cardboard shoe shapers,* some pirate action figures, a magnifying glass, some hair elastics, a headband with a brochure... It was all seemingly very random.

This is Alexander (not Benjamin) in front of the board, obviously
"So, temptation..." Benjamin began his lesson. "Which thing would you be most tempted to do?" he asked, and then started pointing out things on the board. "Steal $3000 from a bank? Take these shoes—these reinforcers represent actual shoes—from the store without paying for them? Or...join a pirate crew?"

Speechless—from shock, confusion, and amusement—we all stared back at him.

"Dad—what's your biggest temptation?"

"Oh, joining the pirate crew, for sure," Andrew managed to squeak out with a serious face.

"Okay, good. Now we're getting somewhere. Let's see," Benjamin continued. "What would you be most tempted to do: Go hunting without a license? Fly across state lines without your parents' permission? across the Atlantic Ocean without buying a plane ticket? See this hair elastic? It represents flying across the Atlantic Ocean."

"" Rachel stammered.

Benjamin glared at her, snatched the hair elastic from its magnetic peg, and shot it across the room at her.

"It. Flies." he said. "Got any other questions?"

"No..." she said.

"Good. Then which temptation would you choose?"

"That one. Flying across the Atlantic Ocean."

"Nice one. Very nice. Now..."

He went on to list three more temptations, which I can't quite remember (I was working too hard to stifle my laughter to take notes at this point), except that one of them was crossing the street without looking both ways and the other two made the trio an equally random (and mind-blowing) set of scenarios.

Then he closed his lesson and Andrew and I had to work rather hard to tie in a good moral for the kids to learn. We talked about avoiding temptation, about what to do when we feel tempted, and about doing our best to make good and wise decisions. And then Benjamin re-closed his lesson.

At Zoë's request we played the "Old Witch" game:

I'm an old witch with a broom for a staff
And you shall neither smile nor laugh
But say straight out, "I do!"

Apparently I've only ever played it with the kids while Andrew's working late, so it was his first time playing. We did a whole lot of laughing. And then we sent the kids to bed so they can be ready to hit the ground running in the morning.

* We took the kids shoe shopping today because we neglected to buy them shoes at the start of the school year and theirs were all too small (and getting rather ratty) or, in Benjamin's case completely AWOL (like, we haven't seen them since Utah).


  1. I was laughing out loud! Hope Benjamin didn't hear me!

  2. Benjamin glared at her, snatched the hair elastic from its magnetic peg, and shot it across the room at her.

    "It. Flies." he said. "Got any other questions?"

    Hahaha! Love it! And, yay, for new shoes! :)