Tuesday, August 24, 2021

The internet

I had a Zoom meeting today with a party who shall remain nameless, but with whom I am required to work professionally. It was a rather pointless meeting overall; I feel like I walked away with about the same amount of knowledge as I had going into the meeting. I'm sure we'll work together just fine, even though it felt like we both wanted to drop the Southern phrasal guillotine "Bless your heart!" on each other.

The meeting was short—about twenty minutes long—and about halfway through, the other party asked me, "Do you have access to the internet?"

I hesitated before answering her question because...we were currently using the internet to communicate.

"Yes..." I said. 

"Have you read it?" she asked.

"Have internet?" I asked to make sure I had heard her correctly.

"Yes, because all the information I have to tell you is on the internet."

"Okay," I said. "The internet is...large. I might need some direction on how to find this information."

"Oh, it's not hidden," she chuckled. "It's really very easy to find. Just type 'COE internet' in your browser and it will automatically pop up."

"I...don't think it will," I said, clearly having a greater understanding of how browser cookies work. "I'm going to need..."

"Just try it," she said.

"Okay," I said. "So, that's not returning any useful results. Do you have, like, a URL—a link, an exact web address—you can give me?"

"I don't know," she said, clearly getting frustrated. "It's just COE internet. It should come up."

"Yeah, it's not coming up for me."

"It's very easy to find!"

"I'm going to need a URL or something."

At this point her coworker, who was mostly silent through the meeting, offered the following information: "It's on the College of Education webpage. So, if you go to [web address] and then click on [redacted] and then click on [redacted] and then click on [redacted], that should take you to the right place."

And just like that I made it to the page I was supposed to be looking at. 

Bless my heart.


  1. Great and prolific reader that you are, you have not READ THE INTERNET?!! Why not? (How many human lifetimes do you think it would take to do that?)

  2. Reminds me of this, haha: