Sunday, December 18, 2011

I've made a huge mistake

In announcing my pregnancy I inadvertently made a huge mistake.

I wrote:

The rabbit died, the wheat has sprouted, 
the ruby shines—it's time we outed.

I didn't realize until I was falling asleep that I should have written:

The rabbit died
The wheat has sprouted
The ruby's red
It's time we outed.

Hello! There was a perfect rhyme staring me in the face and I just ignored it. Sheesh.

Now that I'm fully awake, though, I can't decide which version is better. And to think this kept me up in the night. Like it's even a big deal. It's not. In fact, it's not. a. big. deal. at. all.

In case you're wondering how this announces our pregnancy, let me explain.

The rabbit died: in the 1920s we took to injecting live rabbits with the urine of women who were thought to be expecting. The hCG in the urine of a pregnant woman would kill the rabbit, mostly because they had to cut the rabbit open to examine her ovaries. And then they found out that if they used a frog the frog would lay eggs within 24 hours after being injected, thereby saving the life of millions of fluffy bunnies. Amazing.

The wheat has sprouted: in Ancient Egypt they'd have suspected pregnant women urinate on a bag containing both wheat and barley. If wheat sprouted it meant a girl was to be born. If barley sprouted it meant a boy would be born. If nothing sprouted it meant there was no pregnancy. All of a sudden the Ancient Egyptians are seeming a lot more humane than our civilized society of the 1920s. Now, I added this bit about Egypt to the poem from memory so I didn't look up what wheat sprouting meant until we'd "published" it and we accidentally predicted we'd have another girl. And we'd be fine with that. But a boy would be lovely, too.

The rube shines/The ruby's red: our new addition is due in July. On Rachel's birthday (the 20th). Oops. Actually, July is hands down quite possibly the absolute craziest month for us to have a baby this year. May would have been fine. September would have been fine. But July?! Come on! We have to move this summer at an undisclosed time to an undisclosed place (even to us) and it looks like my options for doing this are a) right before I have a baby, b) while I'm having a baby, or c) right after I have a baby. None of these options sound like fun and, frankly, I'm not sure how plausible option B really is. That leaves us with option A and option C. In short, we don't know what we're doing.

It's time we outed: I'm only nine weeks along. BUT, my cousin Mindy, who is due the end of June, announced already. Andrew's cousin Therena, who is due in July, announced already. My friend Shallee, who is due in July, announced already. My friend Becky, who is due in July, announced already. My friend Wendy, who is due in August, announced already. And then right after I announced my friend Heather sent me a message to say she's due around the same time. I was going crazy not telling anyone. Plus I feel like I'm already a billion weeks pregnant because I can tell that my belly is already bulging even if no one else can, which means that I automatically feel like 18 weeks pregnant. Ugh.

Anyway, we're going to have a baby. We're happy...and a little bit stressed.

3 comments:

  1. I loved your riddle, and congratulations!

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  2. I am so happy for you guys!!! Congrats!!!

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  3. How exciting!!! I'm looking forward to both yours and Mindy's babies! :)

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