Monday, April 30, 2012

Family Funnies, issue 1

It's 9:45 AM and my children are still sleeping. Must be some sort of modern day miracle. And you'd better believe I'm going to let them wake up on their own (probably) because they were both a little grumpy yesterday and didn't go to bed until late.

I've decided to start a little facebook status round-up of what my children say because, frankly, my kids say the darndest things and I don't always write them down on the blog but I need to because that's where we're creating & hoarding our family history (we've yet to actually print it out but definitely need to get on it).

Without further ado, here's April's (and beyond's) edition of our Family Funnies:

April 29:

Rachel: You put milk in her oatmeal and now it's...
Miriam: Yogurt. Now it is yogurt.
Me: No. Not like yogurt... Now it's not too hot.


April 28:

Me: Hmmmm...I think the mayo must be in the outside fridge.
Rachel: I'll get it!
Me: Thanks.

2 minutes later...

Rachel: It's not.
Me: What?
Rachel: There's no mail in the mailbox.
Me: Mayo. In the fridge. In the garage.
Rachel: Oh! I wondered why I needed mail for my sandwich.



************


Miriam: Mom! We did find a solution! We just did find our own solution!

...after ripping out a page in a colouring book so that she and Rachel could each colour the page they wanted. Hooray for finding our own solutions! :)



April 27: 


Miriam: I need more popcorn!
Me: No you don't.
Miriam: Oh. I has plenty?
Me: ...Yes.



************


Rachel watched the space shuttle being delivered to NYC. All she can talk about now is space. She wants to be an astronaut (this is not a new thing).

Rachel: Is there a space shuttle store? Like where you can just go buy your own space shuttle?
Me: No. There isn't. Each space shuttle is specially made.
Rachel: Well, how do you make one?
Me: It takes a lot of people to make a space shuttle. 

Rachel: Maybe we should get all our neighbours together who know how and then maybe we can make one!
Me: No...we probably can't make one. But if you work for NASA one day then maybe you can help make one.
Rachel: What's NASA?
Me: It's the government agency for studying space.
Rachel: Wow!
Me: Yeah—did you know that you know someone who worked for NASA? Our friend Matthew used to work there. Of course he had the most boring job on the whole planet. BUT he worked there.
Rachel: NASA's a *planet?*
Me: No. NASA's not a planet.
Rachel: Aw, man!



April 26: 


Bunny Keg = Guinea Pig
Pater-gator = Catepillar

Playing Littlest Pet Shop with Miriam is confusing. "Uh-oh! Where is my bunny keg?" Your...bunny keg?



April 24:


Me: We need to go put some sunscreen on.
Miriam: On my thumb.
Me: On your thumb?
Miriam: Yeah. Because it is chap-ty.
Me: Sunscreen doesn't really help with "chap-ti-ness."
Miriam: But sunscreen helps with wet-i-ness and when I suck my thumb then it does get wet!



April 22:


Miriam was knocking on her door after nap time today saying, "Can I come out? I has my clothes on. And...the tag IS on the back. So...can I come out now?"

I woke up and let her out, which was the first glimpse of her outfit—a t-shirt under a long-sleeved dress with tights and...underwear.

"Are you wearing underwear under your tights, too? Or just over?"

"Just over. Can I do that?"

"Well, I'm not going to lie: it's kind of weird."

"I am not a weird girl."



************


Grandma: I distinctly heard your mother say to brush your hair.
Rachel: But that means that something doesn't exist anymore—like dinosaurs—so does that mean I don't have to do my hair?
Me: She said "distinctly," not "extinctly."
Rachel: Oh. But how did the dinosaurs get extinct, anyway?
Grandma: Well, we're not really sure but some people think that a giant meteor hit the earth and destroyed everything on it.
Rachel: Wow! What kind of giant meat-eater? Because, like, some dinosaurs already were meat-eaters. Like t-rex? He was a meat-eater. But this must've been a really giant meat-eater to eat a t-rex!
Me: Meteor. Not meat-eater.
Rachel: Oh. What's a meteor.
Me: It's like a falling star...
Miriam: What kind of monster?!



April 18:



Rachel: How do you get rid of slivers, again?

Me: You can either pull them out or just wait for them to fall out. Why? Do you have a sliver?

Rachel: Uh...yeah. Remember?

She showed me her finger.

Me: That's a blister, not a sliver.

Rachel: Oh. How do you get rid of blisters then?
"


April 9:


Rachel was throwing a huge fit while Miriam was wandering around the house singing to herself. Grandpa Reid caught me in the kitchen feeling quite frustrated.


Grandpa: Hey, at least she has pants on!
Me: I would rather have happy naked children than well-dressed grumpy ones!


April 5:


I asked Miriam to find a sweater and put it on. She came back to find me with one half of her sweater on correctly. It was twisted in the back and she somehow turned the sleeve inside out so the other half was on as wrong as could be (upside down and inside out).

"I'm not having very good luck," she sobbed.



************


Grandma set some Easter decorations out yesterday evening after the girls were in bed.

Miriam just walked into the kitchen and she stopped dead in her tracks—her eyes popping and her jaw dropping.

"Mom! It's Easter!" she squealed. "Whoa.



April 4:


‎"Where's the wicked witch from? I can't remember, like, which direction she comes from. I just know she's from the mall," said Rachel.

"The mall?" I asked.

"Yeah. You know—she's the wickedest witch of the mall."

"She's the wickedest witch OF THEM ALL."

"Oooooooooh!"



April 4:


Miriam, seeing a picture of George Romney (the namesake of Andrew's MPA program) asks, "Who is that?"

"That's George Romney," I told her.

"Is he part of your friends? What means this—George Romney?"



April 2:


Me: Nom, nom, nom. I'm going to eat your hand!
Miriam: No! Don't eat my hand!
Me: Why not?
Miriam: Cuz...it is made out of...people. We don't eat some people!



April 1:


Last night at 1:00 AM we had a very in depth conversation about ant-cats or aunt-cats (not sure which). They're grey and scary and are as tall as people. They steal people. And they bite. And they aren't scared of ephalents or lions.

We eventually decided that they're afraid of baby drool. And since Miriam is always sucking her thumb she always has plenty of drool to fling about so she should be *completely* safe.

Phew. Back to bed.

Nightmares can be very entertaining.



March 31:


Andrew: Can I borrow your Kindle?
Me: Does this mean you're giving the girls a bath?
Andrew: That's exactly what it means.
Me: Then certainly you may. Use it for as. long. as. you. want.



************


Miriam: When is Naanii going to sit-baby us again?


March 29:


Miriam: I'm the sister.
Rachel: No, I'm the sister.
Miriam: No, I'm the sister.
Rachel: No, I'm the sister.
Me: Girls! Cut it out—you're both sisters!
Girls: Yeah! *tongues stick out*



************


Miriam: Not you did go to Idaho yet?
Grandma: No. I just went to the store.
Miriam: Oh...then...I can come with you!
Grandma: To Idaho?!
Miriam: Yeah!
Grandma: No. I am going to take just Grandpa to Idaho.
Miriam: Darn.



March 24:


After staying up until 10:30 PM, both of my girls got up in the middle of the night, crying. Multiple times. Then they expected me to bound out of bed at 8:30 this morning with a huge smile on my face to make them...s'mores!?

What the s'mores?



March 23:


Rachel: Can we have dessert?
Me: I have nothing planned for dessert.
Rachel: Can you just look up a recipe and make it?
Me: I'm not doing anything until you do the dishes.
Rachel: *sigh* I wish magic was really real.



************


Miriam: I'm a bonny princess. I'm a bonny princess. I'm a bonny princess!

At first I thought her vocabulary had blossomed. Then I realized she was also hopping...like a bunny. Oh...a bunny princess. Gotcha.



************


Rachel: B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! Hey...what's an NGO?
Me: Well, it's a non-governmental organization but I think the real answer to your question is that it's part of B-I-N-G-O, which spells Bingo, which is the name of the dog.



March 21:


Miriam is using a pair of binoculars. Inside the house.

Me: Ooh! What do you see?
Miriam: *Hmph.* I don't see an eagle.
Me: You don't? What a surprise!
Miriam: No. I don't. Know what? I guess these 'noculars don't work.



************


Rachel is eating lunch (still...) and singing, "Gritherin. Slythendor. Ravenpuff. Huffleclaw." And so forth ad infinitum.


March 20:


Rachel is definitely my daughter. She had a chocolate chip cookie with lunch today—and left a pile of chocolate chips on her plate.

"Ugh—I thought these were raisins," she said. "But they were chocolate chips so I just picked them out and ate the cookie."

Chocolate upsets her stomach.



March 19:


Huge fight over block towers. Ended with Miriam being kicked out of the bedroom. I told her she needed to apologize because she'd been the one to knock over Rachel's tower.

Miriam: *knock, knock* Can I 'pologize to you, Rachie?
Rachel: *opens door*
Miriam: *hangs head* I'm sorry I did knocked over your tower.
Rachel: Miriam, how does it feel to you when I knock over your towers? Bad. That's how it feels when you knock over my towers, too!
Miriam: I'm sorry.
Rachel: You can't just knock over people's towers and expect everything to be okay!
Miriam: I'm sorry—I'm just a little girl!

Somehow this conversation ended the same way it started—with a door being slammed in Miriam's face and tears all around. Maybe Rachel needs more time to heal...block tower wounds run deep.



March 18:


I had Rachel peel a cucumber for dinner—her first time. It took her the whole time I was making dinner to do it, but she did it.

"I can't believe I'm opening a cucumber," she said. "Dad will never believe it! When he gets home I will show him that I can shred a cucumber and he'll be so embarrassed that he'll fall over."

I'm just excited she's happy to be helping.



March 15:


We're doing our civic duty by having Andrew babysit my friend's kids so she and her husband can attend the Republican caucus ('cuz we're certainly not going to that one). I stayed home to get our kids ready for bed (my friend's kids were already in bed—amazing I tell you) and the girls wanted to walk down to say goodnight to Daddy before going to bed themselves, so we did. On the way home we admired the stars and I pointed out The Dippers, The North Star, Orion, and Venus (the planet) to the girls...not that they actually understood where I was pointing but they were certainly impressed.

"How do you know all of this?" Rachel asked.

"When I was in college I took an astronomy class," I told her.

"What?! You took a *star* class?! I want to be a space ranger when I grow up so I'm going to take star classes, too, just like you! I didn't know that you learned all that stuff! I just thought you were a mom!"

Somehow she's always shocked when she finds out that life existed before she did.



March 13:


There was a crash in the bedroom and then I heard Miriam's voice whining: "My body! My body! Ouch! I hurt my body!"

Couldn't be any more specific? Meh—no tears, no blood...she's good.



************


Me: What are you doing, Rachel?
Rachel: Oh, just so...you know how Hermione made the potion on the toilet seat? That's just what I'm doing, too.

Strike one against Harry Potter. Do you know how much I hate toilets? Do you know how much more I hate children playing with toilets? Ew. Just EW!



************


Miriam: The tag goes in the back. Hey! Here is a tag. This is a back!
Me: That's right—but you're still putting your pants on backwards.
Miriam: Whhhhhy?
Me: You need to turn them around so the tag is in the back.
Miriam: Turn, turn, turn. Not can I not do it! Can we just move the tag to the one'an [other] side?



March 12:


"I'm a doctor, a nurse, a zookeeper, and I have two babies. And I'm a witch. And I build beds."

Thank you, Rachel, for making me feel like a slacker.



March 9:


Miriam: Can I just use this box of crayons?
Me: Sure.
Miriam: Just that—it's Rachie's and she's not here so then I can use it!
Me: No. I didn't know it was Rachel's. If it's Rachel's we should put it away.
Miriam: Why? Not she is here to take it away from me. So...we can share!
Me: Well, sharing is nice but it's not very good...
Miriam: Sharing IS good. Sharing is so, so, so good!
Me: Yes. Sharing is nice and sharing is good. BUT it's not very good to use other people's things without permission.
Miriam: Oh.



************


Miriam threw a temper tantrum before her nap. Her temper tantrums consist of crying a little (like for 5 seconds, if that) and then laying down on the floor to suck her thumb. Be jealous. (Or don't because my other temper tantrum thrower is Rachel and her tantrums...well...)

Anyway, I said, "Yes, Miriam—that'll show me."

Rachel rushed into the room.

"What? What? What is Miriam showing you? Show me!"

It's a figure of speech, child. That's all.



March 8:


Miriam came across me eating an apple—a sliced apple. She asked if she could have a snack, too.

"Sure, have a piece of my apple," I told her.

"No! Just that...not do I want to share germs with you! I need my own apple!"

"Taking a piece of apple that I haven't bitten doesn't share germs."

"Not does it share germs?"

"No."

"Okay!"



March 5:


"Me: Hmmm...do these shoes still fit your feet?
Miriam: Yes! Those are does!"



March 1:



I called the doctor to cancel Miriam's follow-up appointment since all her symptoms have finally cleared up.

Me: Heiss. H-E-I-S-S. Miriam. M-I-R-I-A-M.
Miriam: AND I'M TWO!
Receptionist: And what's her birthdate?
Me: October 25, 2009.
Miriam: AND I'M TWO!
Receptionist: And when was that appointment?
Me: Tomorrow at around 10 o'clock.
Miriam: AND I'M TWO!
Receptionist: So, she's two, huh?
Me: How'd you know?





************





Miriam: That medicine is yucky! I want my pink medicine. It's yummy!
Me: You don't need your pink medicine anymore but after you take this you can have a candy.
Miriam: I want lots of them!
Me: You can have one.
Miriam: Can I has two candies. 'Cuz...am I two!
Me: Alright. You can have two candies.
Miriam: Five candies?
Me: Two. That's all.

You drive a hard bargain, baby—but for *you* I make good price.




February 24:



"Miriam climbed up to the kitchen sink to wash off after lunch. She can turn the tap on all by herself, which she thinks is pretty awesome. Today, though, her head was right under the faucet by the time she managed to turn on the tap.

"Ahhh!" she squealed. "I did give myself a sink bath!""


February 23:



Rachel dropped some spaghetti in her lap.

Rachel: Oh, man...I'm going to kill myself.
Me: That's not a nice thing to say! Where did you hear that?
Rachel: Mmmm...I don't know.
Miriam: I am going to kill myself.
Me: I just said that's not a nice thing to say!
Miriam: Oh...I am going to baptize me.





************





Me: I'm hungry. I'm gonna eat your toes!
Miriam: No! Don't eat my toes! Not they are food—just are they pretties! Got it? GOT IT?

There was much finger wagging in my face. Got it.




Her toes are "pretties," by the way, because I had just painted them sparkly pink this morning.


February 21:


I'm not feeling great this morning so instead of walking Rachel to school I sent her through the backyard of one neighbour into the backyard of another neighbour so she could walk to school with their son. I left Miriam alone while I handled the transaction—which took all of two minutes (if that; and Grandma and Grandpa were in the house with her).

I came back inside the house and Miriam was sitting at the table with a large pile of conversation hearts in front of her.

"Don't be mad, Mommy, but I got myself some candy," she told me, flashing a huge smile.

Good thing she already ate breakfast. :)


February 19:


I just snapped a picture of my girls and Andrew doing this freaky thing that no one should be able to physically accomplish but they all can. Rachel asked to look at the picture.

"Oh. I have red eyes—can you take care of that after you upload it?" she asked.

The other day she said to me, "I have a question for you that you'll probably just have to look up the answer for on Google."

"What's your question?" I asked.

"What colour is Luke's light saber?"

"Yeah, let's go Google that."

Her childhood is a *little* bit different than mine was!



************


"MOM!"

*sigh* "What?"

"Miriam says she was born in Cupcake Land."

"So?"

"Well, she's NOT!"

"So?"

Let's all cry about it. For sure.



February 18:


‎"You're my bestest mommy in the worlorld." -Miriam


February 16:


Miriam: Is it bedtime?
Me: Not yet.
Miriam: Is it bedtime?
Me: Not yet. We're going to Relief Society tonight, remember?
Miriam: But...is it bedtime?
Me: No. It's. not.
Miriam: Ooooh. But...not is it sunshine outside anymore. Is it so, so dark!
Me: Fine, but it's not bedtime.
Miriam: Oh, not yet?
Me: Not yet.
Miriam: YAY! Not is it bedtime yet!

Glad we established that...

Miriam: Is Relief Society at the church?
Me: Yes.
Miriam: Then...yes, I can wear my pretty Sunday shoes?



February 15:


This morning we went to a bilingual story time at the library. At dinner Rachel asked me what a nacho was.

"You know," I said. "It's when you melt cheese on a tortilla chip."

"I know," she said. "But I mean the Spanish meaning of nacho, not the English meaning."

"Ummmm...isn't that the same thing?" I guessed.

"But it's not! We learned it today and I can't remember what it means...buenos nachos."

"Buenas noches?"

"Yeah! Buenos nachos!"

"It means good night."

"Oh. Buenos nachos, Mom!"

"Buenas noches, Rachel."



************


The doorbell rang...

Rachel, racing to the door: Yay! Emily's here!
Miriam, following behind: I'm a rotten egg! I'm a rotten egg!

She's always the last one there, poor thing.



February 14:


While playing with the dollhouse, Miriam kept trying to cram an entire family into one bed (Mommy, Daddy, baby, and sister). It wasn't working—dolls kept falling out. So Miriam came up with a brilliant solution. She ran over to the toy box, grabbed a couch and said, "It's okay! Just can the daddy rest on the couch!"

And then the family all slept comfortably. It's like she was reenacting last night or something (though Andrew didn't end up on the couch, he *did* end up in Rachel's bed for a while).



February 8:


Miriam just handed me her baby doll:

"Here, Mom—will you just sit my little baby? Cuz me going on a date! Help me put on my princess dress. I'm going to the castle. Bye, bye."



************


Rachel walked in on me folding laundry.

"When you're done with that can you help us make a tent in the living room?" she asked.

"Sure," I said.

"And when you're all finished I'll give you a 'good-job thumb,' deal?"

Deal—because I live for a thumb's up. What bribery!



February 6:


Rachel was racing down the hallway and bumped into the wall three times while recovering from rounding the corner.

"I just wish walls weren't ever made!" she wailed.



February 1:


Miriam drew something that looks like a heart. I commented on it.

"What?" said Rachel, "I have GOT to see this. WOW, Miriam. Wait until Mommy tells Dad! That's...STUPENDOUS!"



************


‎"Wow! My cow is a muppet!" —Miriam, upon discovering the cow she was playing with was a puppet.


************


This morning instead of dragging me out of bed the girls just hung out with me. Miriam gave me a back rub or, as she calls it, a rubber. Rachel tried to give her one.

"Don't rubber my back, Rachie! I'm busy rubbering Mom's back. If you rubber my back again I'll spank you in the face!"

Rachel told her that she could go ahead and spank her in the face because that's an impossible thing to do—because you can only spank bums!

Later they brought out the magna-doodles and drew pictures. Rachel wrote "KO."

"What does this spell?" she asked me.

"KO," I answered.

"No!" she said, "It spells OK! That's what Grandma gets on the Wii Fit!"



January 30:


From the storage room I brought up some tomato soup for the tomato soup lover and a package of oriental noodles...or Ramen...or Ichiban...or whatever (we call it "Tangled Hair Soup") for the non-tomato soup lover.

"What?!" said Miriam when she saw the tomato soup. "Not do I like tomato soup!"

"I know," I said, "I brought some Tangled Hair up, too. I'll make them separately."

"What's separate?"

"It means not together."

"Oh! Rachel—we're going to have separate soup. Mommy's making them separate!"



January 28:


Instead of "what the heck," Miriam just said, "What the hiccup?!"

I'm not sure how I feel about her use of "what the heck" but "what the hiccup" is pretty much hilarious.



January 26:


"And it came to pass that the Nephites spread their scriptures as pastly as past. And Jesus appeared and he said unto them..."

—Rachel, reading to Miriam



************



Eating tuna fish sandwiches for lunch...

Me: You should put a chip in your sandwich. It's really good.
Rachel: Alright; I'll try it just this once.
Miriam: You should put a graham cracker in your sandwich. It's really good.
Rachel: Nobody's going to try that, Meme.

Also, we'd just come inside from building a snowman so Rachel asked for hot chocolate with lunch. I told her that she was out of luck because hot chocolate is a Daddy-thing.

"I wish I could have lunch with Daddy always. That way we could always have hot chocolate. *sigh* Even on summer days," she said.
"


************


"Once upon a time a creature did bite my toe and I got stuck in its nose but you did pulled me out of the creature's nose and did saved me but me still scared of the creature." —Miriam


January 24:


Me: Are you ready to put some boots on?
Miriam: No. Me want Sunday shoes.
Me: But it's snowy outside—you need to wear boots.
Miriam: No. Not is it snowy! Me saw daddy shobeling. He did shobel the whole street and the whole ground. There not is snow on the sidewalk!



January 23:


I left a pitcher of water on the counter—the one we use to fill up the humidifier in the girls' bedroom on a nightly basis.

"What's that for?" asked Grandpa.

"The 'fier in my bedroom," Miriam told him.

Somehow shortening humidifier to "fire" sounds a little dangerous.



January 20:


"Did you know I saw a robin on my walk home today? But then I hit that jingly music thing [chime] in Grandma's tree to make if fly away so it wouldn't distract me anymore because it was singing and stuff and I was like 'Ah! I can't remember to walk home when you're singing at me!'" —Rachel"


January 19:


"I have a scratchy nose. Can you just put a bandaid on it or something 'cuz it hurts!" —Miriam

It's cold and flu season. Obviously.



************


A nursery was provided for the Relief Society activity tonight. When I picked my kids up I said, "Did you have a good time?"

Miriam said, "Yeah. And I peed my pants!"

And indeed she had. There is a bathroom RIGHT there, which she used once, but apparently wetting her pants was also part of the experience. She sounded so excited about it, too.



************


"I drew a number one and then I drew Hermione just to help me remember what one looks like because there's only one Hermione." —Rachel


January 18:


Playing with playdoh...

Miriam shows me a marble-sized ball: "This is a ball."

She then shows me a ball about half the size of the first: "And this is a giant, giant, giant, giant booger!"

Creativity abounds.



January 17:


Me: I'm going to start making dinner.
Andrew: Do you guys want to help?
Rachel: What are we having?
Andrew: Pizza Monkey Bread!
Rachel: Ew. Does it have monkeys *in* it?



************


Andrew stopped by the store on his way home from school today. Miriam unpacked for him. Toothpaste for the girls, razors for me, shaving cream for Andrew.

"Is it like Christmas!" Miriam exclaimed, passing out toiletries and hugs.



January 13:


Throw up day = I don't care how much TV the kids watch

I just put on a movie (LeapFrog: Numbers Ahoy) for the girls and Rachel asked who the bad guys were.

"I don't know," I said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"I've never seen this movie before," I admitted.

"Not even when you were a little girl?" she asked.

"This movie didn't exist when I was a little girl," I said.

"WHAT?!" she gasped. "Movies didn't exist when you were little?!"

"Not all movies; just *this* movie."

"Oooooh. Okay."



January 12:


Miriam's looking for a wand—my girls usually use unsharpened pencils for that purpose. Miriam, however, found a sharpened one. She brought it to me and told me in a very disappointed manner, "Not this is a wand! This is...just a pencil."


January 11:


Rachel: Hey, Mom! Good news—we don't have to fight over Pinkie Pie ( a "My Little Pony") because she's lost. Neither of us can find her. Isn't that great?


January 10:


Rachel: Mom, go ahead and open the dishwasher.

Me: Aw. Did you and Daddy do the dishes this morning before school?

Rachel: MOM! You're not supposed to guess you're supposed to look!



January 9:


"Hey! You're supposed to be the dead man! You can't move or talk! You're not following the rules!"

"Rachel! Leave your sister alone! You're being too bossy—how can she play if she can't move or talk?"

"Not me wanna be a dead man."

"Well, Meme, you can be a dead girl..."

Right. This sounds like a wonderful game. Not.



************



"Harry Potter snake—he's gross, and mean, and slimier than a king!" sings Rachel to a made-up tune. She hasn't seen the 2nd movie, no...and won't for some time. Somehow she still knows about the snake.

And last night the girls had the following fight:

Miriam: Voldemort! Voldemort! Voldemort!
Rachel: Don't say that!
Miriam: Voldemort! Voldemort! Voldemort!
Rachel: Please, stop saying that!
Miriam: Voldemort! Voldemort! Voldemort!
Rachel: Stop saying his name!
Miriam: Voldemort!
Rachel: Why can't you just say You-Know-Who?
"


January 8:


Andrew: And then it's time to get ready for bed.
Rachel: Again?

Everyday.



************


For your pleasure, Miriam said an unending sentence today.

And I quote, "We didn't walk to church today 'cuz when we walk to church it makes Rachel sad and sad and sad and sad and sad and sad and sad and sad and..." 



January 6:


I asked Miriam if we could change her pants because they *really* don't match her shirt (and she wore them yesterday).

"Know what, Mom?" she said, "They're pretty pants! And know what—I'm wearing them. I'm not changing mine clothes!"

So that about settles it.

And thus my two-year-old will take on the world today in the most clashing-ist outfit ever.



************


Rachel's flipping through the Harry Potter series, looking at the little picture at the top of each chapter. She finished #1 and grabbed the next one, which happened to be #3 because #2 was misplaced.

"Mom!" she shrieked, "This isn't book 2! This is book 3! Where's book two?!"

I found it on a different shelf and handed it to her.

"I guess I'll just have to read them out of order," she sighed, "Since I'm already halfway through #3."



January 3:


Rachel: I want to watch a movie.
Me: Sorry; not today. You have dishes to do, you just threw a big fit, and I don't know that we have time for that today. Come on, Miriam. It's nap time.
Miriam: I want to watch a movie.
Me: I already said no to that request.
Miriam: Ummm...I want to watch *two* movies...
Me: Nice try. Still nap time.



I hereby promise that I'll do this once a month instead of once every four months...but I can't promise that I'll keep that promise (not to get all soap-opera-y or anything). I still have multiple funny stories to share that I haven't written down. But my kids have been up for a while now and I'm in the middle of making tomato sauce, doing laundry, supervising play-doh time...so later...

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