Saturday, November 22, 2008

More Bad English

I don't know when I started reading cereal boxes, but I love to do it. Cereal boxes, chip bags, juice cans, shampoo bottles. You name it and I love to read it. I love to read the ingredient list. I love to read every little word on the package. Memorize it. Savor it.

I'm really not sure why I love reading packages so much. Maybe it was because I lived in Canada and everything was bilingual and so exciting to read. Maybe it was because I started reading packages when I first was learning to read and actually understanding something was exciting. Maybe it was just because David did it, too. And my mom, actually. And probably everyone else in my family. Maybe we're all just quirky.

Whatever the reason I still read packages and there is a lot of humorous stuff out there. Take our bag of flour, for example.

Extra Flour For All Used? I'm pretty sure they mean "All Purpose Flour" and I only find it slightly worrisome that they used "extra" and "used" to describe my flour. I'm hoping it didn't come from the floor of a bakery--which would definitely be both "extra" and "used."

Then there's the instruction manual for the Supper Cut clippers we bought. One of the "important safeguards" they list is that "close supervision is necessary when this appliance is used by, on, or near shildern of invalids." I'm not sure when the last time is I saw "invalid" in print in reference to a human being. I'm pretty sure it's not very politically correct. But I'll be sure to keep my clippers away from their shildern.

When the clippers give out, I'm going to sell them to these guys because they buy "every things!"

And to top off this post, here's an advertisement in Nile Mall. We went there on Thursday to look for a sweater for Andrew. This mall was much too posh for us, unfortunately, so we'll have to do some more snooping around town. But I couldn't resist this lovely Disney advertisement:

I'll transcribe in case you can't make out what they're saying.

Louie: We are going to Egypt...! Now Dixy Fried Chicken in Egypt

Donald: Wait , i want to see the pyramids

Mickey: DIXY he most popular franchise in london now in egypt enjoy the taste totaly different

I love reading things like this. It makes me feel happy as a language learner. I don't have to speak perfect Russian, Arabic, Chinese (or English for that matter) to become the graphic designer of an international restaurant chain; I can succeed in life being mediocre. But that is okay!


  1. Is an INvalid not a person? As in a person who is sick all the time, accent on the first syllable? I think you are thinking of inVALid, accent on the middle syllable, which definitely isn't a person. Unless they aren't even spelled the same, which is entirely possible. And I have had to retype almost every word at least twice, because of all my very own spelling errors! Thank goodness for backspacing, or you would be able to tell!

  2. They are spelled the same. Annoying, isn't it? children or invalids. :)
    Haha, if you're quirky for reading packages, then I must have been quirky for most of my life as well. I don't do it so much anymore - I don't know why. But I used to do it all the time.

  3. I know invalid is a word. :) I was referring to the fact that it's considered to be rather non-politically correct to use it and I haven't seen it in print referring to people in quite a long time.

    Oh, and I also meant to put in there that Andrew called me a "weak shortling" the other day when I couldn't reach something. Obviously he meant to say "short weakling" but I thought it was hilarious anyway.

  4. I like to read shampoo bottles too. Why? I don't know. I'm a lot like you....a little bit different