Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Slavery

Rachel has already thrown a day's worth of fits today. I don't know if I'm being overly censorious or if she's being overly sensitive—likely it's a little bit of both—but today has been awful.

Lucky for both of us she had preschool this morning. So she's not here.

She lost approximately twenty magnets this morning. She threw a fit about her shirt not fitting right. She threw a fit over not being able to pull up her pants after going to the bathroom. She threw a fit over breakfast. She threw a fit about her hair being brushed. She threw a fit over just about everything.

When she stomped off to her bedroom screaming, "I HATE YOU!" for the billionth time I did the unthinkable: I took a magnet away from her.

When I plunked it on the bottom of her chart a bunch of magnets from the top fell onto the floor.

Obviously I wasn't plunking very gently. I have about zero patience left in me—I was wringing out patience at 8:10 this morning and by the time I was shuffling around magnets it was 8:48 and I was spent.

"Hmmmm...should I put these magnets back at the top or should I put them on the bottom?" I mused aloud.

"YOU PUT THEM BACK ON THE TOP RIGHT NOW! THOSE ARE MY MAGNETS! YOU CAN'T TAKE THEM AWAY! I'M EARNING MY PRIZE! IF YOU TAKE THEM AWAY THEN YOU WILL BE BAD AND I WILL HATE YOU!"

I put the fallen magnets on the bottom of the board. At this point I didn't feel like rewarding her one bit.

When all the magnets get to the top of the board, see, she earns a prize. And there is no stinkin' way I'm giving her a prize in the near future. Not after yesterday and today.

So she screamed and growled and thrashed her little limbs and gnashed her little teeth.

"Do you need me to call in sick for you today or can you get ready for school now?" I asked.

She decided to get ready for school.

While we were getting our shoes on in the hallway she apologized. I accepted.

"Can I have my magnets back now?" she asked.

"Nope," I said, "You'll have to earn them back."

"But that's not fair! I only had three left to earn and now I have a lot!"

"Well, you shouldn't have misbehaved."

"But I said I was sorry."

"If you want to earn a prize today you'll have to be my little slave and work hard for me all day."

"I AM NOBODY'S SLAVE!" she screamed at me, tearing at her hair and clothes in biblical fashion.

"Oh, put on your shoes and let's go," I sighed.

The funny thing is...I don't think she even knows what a slave is. All she knows is that she's in trouble so it's gotta be bad, right? Considering I've been her personal slave for the past 3.5 years, I don't think one day of servitude will really damage her.

Now, let me think:

Dishes
Laundry
Dusting
Bathrooms

What else?

3 comments:

  1. Cooking, setting the table, helping Miriam, get you a drink while you blog, get you a bowl of ice cream while you blog, go get a 7-figure income and donate it to you, etc. etc. Oh yes, what else?! ;-)

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  2. Ooh ooh - don't rich people loan their slaves to other people? She could come here that'd befine by me.

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  3. @ Amy - She's really good at mirrors and setting the table. You're welcome to her anytime.

    She ended up putting away dry dishes, playing with Miriam, cleaning up some spilled marbles, helping put away groceries, setting the table, putting every single dirty diaper in the pail, helping clear the table, and I can't remember what else...

    She did not earn back all her magnets but the rest of the day was much happier. :)

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