10:35 AM. Yesterday morning.
Miriam: Up? Mommy's bed? Chapstick?
Me: No. I don't want you to get on Mommy's bed because you'll muck around with stuff you're not supposed to.
Rachel: I can help you get onto Mommy's bed.
Me: No, Rachel—I don't want you to help Miriam get onto Mommy's bed. I don't want her on my bed at all because she'll muck around with all my stuff. Didn't I just say that?
Rachel: Okay. Miriam, you can just get the stool from the bathroom and use that.
Me: Rachel! I don't want her dragging the stool around the house to reach things she's not supposed to reach! Why do you give her these ideas? Miriam, please stay off Mommy's bed, okay?
2:13 PM. Yesterday afternoon.
I was getting ready to go to the temple and I found: a stool by the bed, my pillow on the floor, Chapstick smeared on the sheets, a lidless Chapstick tube, the dust jacket stripped off the book I'm reading, fresh doodles on my notepad, and baby fingerprints all over my extra set of glasses. Grrrrr...
9:37 PM. Still yesterday.
We had just finished watching a play my brother was in and were loading the kids into the car.
Rachel: Why is it dark?
Me: Because the sun set.
Rachel: I didn't see the sunset.
Me: Just because you didn't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Rachel: Well, where did it go?
Me: It set. I told you that. It went down just behind those mountains where they sky is still kind of grey.
Rachel: Well, when did it set?
Me: While we were inside.
Rachel: Why didn't it wait for me? I wanted to watch it!
Me: The sun doesn't wait for anybody.
2:09 AM. Early this morning. Obviously.
Rachel (whispering): Mom, I pee-peed in the bed.
Me (groaning): Really? I thought we were done with that.
Rachel: Yeah, well...
Me: Let's go clean it up.
2:13 AM. In Rachel's room, after searching for the wet spot, laying down towels, and changing jammies.
Me: Do you still need to go potty?
Rachel: No. I did it all in my bed.
Me: Are you sure? Because now would be a good time if you do need to go.
Rachel: I just want to go back to bed.
Me: Okay. Good night. I love you.
2:14 AM. My head had just hit the pillow when I heard Rachel up and moving again.
Me: Rachel, what's wrong?
Rachel: I need to go potty!
Me: Seriously? *sigh* Okay, go.
2:15 AM. I struggle to stay awake while Rachel goes to the bathroom to make sure she manages to a) wash her hands, b) turn off the light, and c) get back into bed. Eventually the bathroom light turns off and the house is plunged into darkness.
Rachel (blood-curdling-ly): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Help me! It's dark! MOMMY!
2:16 AM. Even Andrew sits straight up in bed, breathing rapidly, heart pounding—and he doesn't wake up for anything.
Andrew (very confused): What's going on?!
No one is around to answer his question because I had already jumped out of bed to escort Rachel to...our bed. In order to calm her down, of course.
Rachel (still crying): It was so dark!
Me: What did you expect? You walked to the bathroom in the dark. Of course it was dark when you turned out the light!
2:25 AM. Rachel is finally ready to go back to bed.
7:55 AM. The alarm clock goes off (the sun doesn't wait for anybody). But it's the wrong alarm clock—the super loud one we rarely use.
Me: What!? It's eight o'clock! Honey, we've got to get up now! We were supposed to be up an hour ago! You have to play the organ and I'm never going to be able to get the girls ready on time!
Our primary alarm clock had, in fact, gone off at seven o'clock that morning but I (uncharacteristically) didn't hear it. Andrew (uncharacteristically) did hear it but instead of waking up he just fiddled around with it until it shut off. It was all wonky when we looked at it this morning.
Apparently when Miriam was on our bed yesterday she also got around to setting our secondary (and rarely used (due to it's overly effective wake-up call)) alarm clock.
Luckily it's fast Sunday so we didn't have to worry about breakfast. Except for the girls.
Andrew got to church in time for prelude music and I got to church, believe it or not, during the opening hymn (but didn't go into the chapel until after the opening prayer because I had to help the girls get a drink from the fountain after their long, hard walk, and we had to get a kleenex for Miriam (who sneezed a huge (and messy) sneeze while we were walking)).
We all had a good, if not tired, day at church and now both of the girls are, miraculously, napping.
God moves in mysterious ways.