We've reached that stage where I officially want to record everything Alexander says because everything is just so funny. Not necessarily because what he says is funny in nature, but simply because his way of speaking is so funny.
He's been pretty good at completing his chores lately so that we can go to the pool every day. His main chore is emptying the dishwasher of all the plastics. Usually I empty the glass and the sharps and tell him to do the rest. But this morning Andrew told him to just put away everything that wasn't glass and that he (Andrew) would do the rest.
After I finished reading to the kids and assigning their writing response I walked into the kitchen to find some breakfast and noticed that Alexander had done his part of the dishes and had left all the glass things in the dishwasher, so I started putting them away. He caught me reaching into the cupboard with a stack of plates.
"Mommy, what are you doing?!" he shrieked.
"I'm putting the dishes away," I said.
"But you are not 'uppod to do dat! Daddy is 'uppod to do dat betuh Daddy i' duh one who tol' me to put away the dih'es in the fir' play!"
Andrew walked into the kitchen by this point and I told Alexander to take it up with Daddy, so he did.
"Daddy," Alexander began explaining, "Mommy i' putting away the gla'' dih'eh but Mommy i' not 'uppod to put away the gla'' dih'eh betuh you are the one who 'tarted me putting away the dih'eh what are not gla''! You waid dat you would put away the gla'' dih'eh if I put away the dih'eh dat are not the gla'' dih'eh and I did put away the dih'eh that are not gla'' dih'eh but you are not putting away the gla'' dih'eh! Mommy is putting away the gla dih'eh and if Mommy is putting away the gla'' dih'eh then that i' not fair betuh you are the one who 'tarted me on putting away the dih'eh that are not gla'' dih'eh!"
I wasn't sure his explanation would ever end.
Gla dih'eh means "glass dishes," in case that wasn't clear. And Andrew was the one who "started" Alexander on that task (and who had told Alexander to just leave all the glass in the dishwasher because he (Andrew) would do it later). The fact that I jumped in to put away dishes was terribly offensive, apparently.
Also this morning, Alexander came up to me wearing a little backpack (with another even smaller backpack stuffed inside).
"I fine-ee got my two batpat bat from Benny betuh Benny 'tole—Benny 'tole—them from me! And that mate me boh mad! And that why Benny wouldn't ebber 'teal from me ebber, ebber a-den!"
I can't say I disagree! Benny shouldn't steal from Alexander ever, ever again!
Last story from this morning... Alexander brought me a picture of dolphins that he drew (I'm not sure where the picture is now) and he explained to me that there were two dolphins and one was rainbow (and one was not) and that this dolphin looks worried because he thinks he is going to die soon (because there is a shark outside of the paper that you can't see because he didn't draw the shark because it's too far off the side of the paper to fit on the paper).
Everything he says involves a lengthy, barely understandable explanation and I just never want him to stop talking (except, you know, when I do...) and I don't ever want him to learn to speak correctly (except, again, that the truth is that I really do). For now we'll just enjoy his constant baby chatter.