Saturday, January 12, 2008

Why women are smarter, reason # 38

While folding laundry this evening Andrew held up one of his semi-casual shirts to me.

"What's this thing for?" he asked, indicating a button hole on the underside of his shirt collar.

"It's to help keep your collar down," I informed him, "You just button it right here and then it won't stick up funny."

"Cool! I was wondering about that. It always did stick up funny..."

Women just know how to dress ourselves better than men. It isn't that we're smarter it's just that we have been conditioned from birth to know what to do with zippers and buttons and velcro and ribbons and do-hickies and whatchamacall'ems. Our clothing is 10 times more complex to put on than men's clothes are.

Actually, that might be because we're smarter... Our clothes always have several more fasteners than are necessary to keep them on and since we've been dealing with this fact of life since we could dress ourselves we don't break into a sweat if there are three more buttons than holes on our shirts.

Men just don't get it. Andrew actually remarked to me once, "Hey, there are buttons on the tag! What for?" as if he thought they actually served a purpose and weren't "just in case" buttons.

To illustrate my point, let me describe the pants I have on currently. They do up in front with a zipper, a button, and velcro. The side pockets velcro closed and the back one buttons up.

I have another pair of pants that has a zipper, a button, a hook-and-eye, and also came with a belt that ties up.

This doesn't even account for my dress pants, which can be twice as complicated as casual slacks. Nor does it include the pants that do up in the back. Or the side.

Andrew is usually pretty understanding about the process I have to go through to look nice, but sometimes he forgets and complains about how long it takes for me to get ready. The next time he does I think I'm going to challenge him to a dressing dual.

I'd like to see him attempt to put on nylons, zip a dress up his back, or tie a ribbon in his hair.


  1. I'd love to see Andrew tie a ribbon in his hair... oh wait... does he have hair??? Nancy! Maybe that's why he likes his hair short! So he can forgo the ribbons ;)

  2. When that happens, please be sure to post pictures. ;)

  3. Hee. And I'm sitting here reading thinking, oh, is having a lot of extra fasteners and do-dads on clothing unusual? I never thought about it. :)

  4. Perhaps it is true that women's clothes are more complex, but why do I usually get ready faster than Matt? That has been a question I have pondered since we got married. Especially at the temple. I think it is a little more complicated for him there. Or maybe he has just brainwashed me into thinking so because he always talks about how many more clothes he has to put on when he is wearing his suit. (It's true, the tie probably would take a minute more.) Still, I don't know why he has to take quite that long. My guess: daydreaming. My husband can be such a daydreamer. Enough of my ramblings. I hear Amy talking - telling me she just woke up.

  5. NO Kidding! Once my husband was sleeping in way too much and church was soon, so I was up and getting ready trying to be as nice as I could and convince him to get out of bed. He finally did and it took him about two minutes and he was completely ready before me!! I had been up for an hour! I was a little disgusted...