Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Easter Egg Smackdown 2014

We dove into our annual Smackdown as soon as we finished finding all the plastic eggs. The girls were so excited. Rachel was talking smack all the way to church in the morning.

"I'm going to be the champion this year," she challenged. "You're all going down!"

I'd like to know when she got old enough to put sentences like that together. She was super competitive this year.

We first had to set up the bracket. Andrew put me in charge of that while he cut up potatoes.

"Why do I have to draw the bracket?" I moaned (I'm as bad as my kids sometimes). "I'm so bad at it but it seems like I do it every year!"

"Oh, you're great at drawing brackets," Andrew assured me.

"Okay, fine," I sighed. "Let's see. There are fourteen eggs so we'll needs seven...ah, whatever. I'm going to see what I can find online."

I found a lovely bracket-generating website that would make up a bracket for you with however many competitors you wanted. Perfect.

Next we went through the eggs, named them, and listed them on the bracket. Andrew, who'd abandoned his potatoes, would pull an egg out of the carton, ask whose it was, someone would claim it and christen it and then I would write the chosen name on the bracket. I was careful to make sure that no one was competing against themselves. The last two slots were automatically in Round 2. And the last two eggs both belonged to Andrew.

"Hey, wait a minute!" I said. "That's not fair! You get to skip Round 1. That's totally an advantage—your eggs will enter Round 2 untouched!"

Rachel might not be the only one who gets competitive about the Smackdown.

"I didn't mean to," Andrew said sincerely.

"Fine, I believe you. But if you win I will never let you live this down," I promised.

First up were Rachel and Miriam competing with Pinky I and Pinky II—they'd both dyed an egg pink.



Rachel's egg won. It would become her lucky egg and carry her all the way to the final round. Here she is cheering after completely decimating one of Andrew's eggs in Round 2:


Both of Andrew's eggs got smashed, actually. If I didn't know any better I'd suspect he wasn't trying (but Rachel and I aren't the only ones who get competitive about the Smackdown). Fortunately Andrew got to keep playing because he was took over playing for Benjamin, who couldn't understand why we had discouraged egg-throwing one day and encouraged it the next (he was also ready for a nap in a bad way).


Here's Rachel getting ready for the Final Round, kissing her lucky egg:


Getting ready to slide...


Surprisingly, Miriam won! Using my egg (so I won as well, right?)—and not just any egg of mine but one that was a total egg-dying fail. I tried to draw an airplane and it turned out simply awful but since it was an uncracked hardboiled egg it got to compete anyway. I let Miriam take it through the bracket since she didn't have as many eggs to play with.


I always choose a favourite egg to root for. This year it was Raphael, but he got cut in the second round. By Benjamin (technically Andrew), no less! I could not believe it! My poor little turtle in a half shell!



None of my other eggs really turned out well (they were incredibly difficult to dye this year, which I think I mentioned earlier) so I felt like I didn't have anything left to cheer for—for me—so I rooted for Rachel instead since she was so sure she was going to win. But then she didn't. And one of my eggs did. And it was an ugly egg to boot, though it had a very beautiful player behind it.

Miriam: The 2014 Easter Egg Smackdown Champion
Rachel wasn't too upset by her loss and very maturely threatened us all, saying, "Next year...next year..."

Rachel: The 2014 Easter Egg Smackdown runner-up
Here's the obligatory picture of our bracket, in case you're interested...



When all was said and done Benjamin finally perked up. I handed him his egg, which we named Benjamin, and he decided he wanted a turn playing, so I let him get one good throw in.


He was so happy about it!


And now we'll be keeping him far, far away from eggs for the next little while until we reteach him not to throw them.

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