I have to go to campus tomorrow for the very first time, and I have to admit I'm a little nervous. I realized today that not only is my "professional" wardrobe pretty slim pickings, I'm also 32 weeks pregnant. That makes the pickings even slimmer...because I am much less slim than usual. So I'm doing some laundry so that I can cobble together something presentable.
Andrew offered to let me borrow a not-a-diaper-bag, graduate-student-looking bag so that I can carry my necessities for the day (which will be pre-portioned meals, my glucometer, some homework supplies, and maybe some crochet because I do still need to finish Halloween costumes). Mostly I assume I'll be busy (because what I'll be doing is running a booth at a Banned Books Fair), but I'm also hoping I won't be too busy because I haven't gone anywhere public in ages and I'm a little afraid I'll be afraid of people.
But that's fine because as nervous as I feel, I'm not as nervous as some.
This evening we were playing a game as a family while Alexander drew pictures. He made a lovely little solar system and even fashioned a little cat mask for himself (he loves dressing up and wearing masks). His cat mask doesn't look like it will be very functional, so Miriam suggested that tomorrow they can print out a template and he can colour it and they can make one together and somehow it came out that Miriam would be helping him with this because Mom would be gone all day (alllllll day).
(Note: Miriam will not be "in charge" at any point during the day, but she does have some fun activities planned to do with Alexander, anyway.)
The poor boy about started hyperventilating. Tears welled up in his eyes. His lower lip started to quiver.
"Mom will be...gone?" he whimpered before dissolving into a little puddle of his former self.
He had so many worries. How would we print a template without Mom here? Mom is in charge of printing things! When we said "all day" did we mean "all day"? And who would be in charge? And how would he get lunch? And who would do reading lessons with him? And...
He had a good long sob into the front of my shirt, drenching us both with tears and snot.
I'm sure tomorrow will go well for both of us, despite our misgivings.