Friday, March 09, 2007

Babies make my brain hurt

Andrew has been complaining that I only ever tell funny stories about him in our blog. Let's be honest, who really wants to tell funny (and most importantly, embarrassing) stories about themselves. It's a little cocky and really just sounds funnier coming from someone else. Plus, I try not to widely advertise the fact that I'm really a major ditz.

I told Andrew that I did write the story of my amazement that Ryan and his mission companion had served in the same mission. Andrew said that was good, and that we need more embarrassing stories about me to prove to future generations that I am just as blond as Andrew (which isn't possible because I have brown hair).

Fortunately for Andrew, my pregnancy brain is making my ditzy moments come closer and closer together. They should perhaps now be called ditzy "spells" because that denotes a longer period of time than simply a moment does.

As it stands, here is Andrew's favorite story of my ditziness for the week:

We do the same routine every morning. We get ready to go...say family prayer...and then Andrew opens the door and holds the screen open for me while I turn out the light, lock the door and close it tight (that rhymed)!

Our door has 3 locks: a child lock, a deadbolt, and a handle lock.

The child lock can't be easily unlocked from the outside and is next to impossible to lock once you are on the other side, so we always leave that one unlocked if we are gone.

The handle lock is one of those twisty ones that you can lock and then close the door and it will stay locked.

The deadbolt is a deadbolt. It doesn't do anything special. There are no special tricks. I've been using them for years and they all work pretty much the same. If you are on the outside, you have to lock it from the outside.

Andrew usually does the locking from the outside because he has his keys out to start the car.

I usually lock the handle lock before I close the door. That is how it always works. We have the system down to a T.

Well, the other day, I thought, for some odd reason, that it would save time if I locked both the handle and deadbolt and then closed the door. So I did...and then walked away.

As I walked away, I was all happy with myself and said, "Why didn't I think of that before?"

Andrew said, "Think of what? Did you know you just locked the deadbolt before closing the door?"

"Yeah," I said, "It'll save time."

"No," Andrew said, "You can't lock it before you close it. We have to do it from the outside."

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently...and then it all clicked.

I had actually locked the deadbolt and then closed the door, which means that it just bounced right on open again--that would be the reason why I didn't think of it before. It just doesn't work.

*****

I would like to say that these things only happen when I'm pregnant, but it's just not true. They happened before, too, occasionally... Now that I'm pregnant they just happen like, 3 or more times each day. I'm afraid that it will keep increasing in frequency until I function on ditziness entirely.

Poor Andrew...I hear it doesn't get better postpartum, either.

3 comments:

  1. The sad thing is pregnancy is just the beginning. It used to drive me crazy when my mom would call me the wrong name...now I can't ever keep the kids straight and they are one, not even the same sex, and two I only have two. I look at Grace with her cute little red/brown/golden hair in all her pinkness and I say, "Oh Ezra you are so cute." Good grief. Nancy I'm sure everything wil be fine. Chances are the doctor just mentioned it to cover himself if something did end up wrong but since he didn't order a second ultrasound or insist on the blood test or amnio I'm sure he is pretty confident there is not a problem. Regardelss though I wanted to let you know we're thinking of you and keeping you in our prayers.

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  2. hey Nancy... it is my own personal opinion that each baby takes a part of your brain with it when it is concieved thusly... you and Andrew only have a lifetime of ditziness to look forward to. (is that even a word) As for calling your kids by the wrong name... I quite often call Piper "josie" on random occasions when I am not putting my full attention on the matter. Which, I am not fully mistaken on because Willy from the pool, seems to think that Piper and Josie look like eachother! I happen to agree...
    I think it's worse when you can't remember why it is you're talking to them in the first place!

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  3. I'm sure I'll mix up my children, too...

    I'm used to getting called the wrong name. I did grow up in my house, after all...mom rarely uses 1 name, ever. It's either, "Patrick-David" (or vise versa), or "Josie-Nancy."

    Oh, and Kelli often calls Rosie and I each other's names. She did this at Matthew's baptism. She said to her friend, "Ask Nancy if she put formula in the diaper bag."

    I was sitting on the other side of Kelli, so her friend leaned across me and asked, "Did you put formula in the diaper bag?"

    I said, "I think she means Rosie." (who was sitting on the other side of the friend).

    "Okay..." she said, "I was wondering why she didn't just ask you herself."

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